Diversification in the Middle of Dartmoor

I wrote to the Duke of Cornwall the other day.  It took me a long time to work out the correct way to address him, where to send my letter to etc.  I was quite chatty in it, discussing how I knew his predecessor a bit (he'd been kind enough to become patron of a couple of my ex-husband's polar endeavours).  And how, wasnt it interesting that both young princes had been in my father's house at Eton (two housemasters later), and it was so nice to see him wearing our house colours (a not very attractive combination of blue and beige) from time to time. And would he and his lovely young family like to come and stay in my remote idyll which has space for helicopters to land and is so handy for Duchy matters, blah, blah, blah.

So I was uber-excited to receive a hand-addressed reply, less than a week later.

It came from an office flunky, was very short, and said, we note your concern, and have forwarded your letter to (I'd better not name him) ie the bloke at the local Duchy of Cornwall office who has so far not responded to five polite emails from me! He was the whole reason I found myself writing to Prince William in the first place! Grrrrrr.  Or simply Agghhh (as it's not the prince's fault - I bet he never even saw my charming letter, so mustn't get shirty).

The issue is untidy piles and piles and piles of ancient rotten old logs, reaching up to the sky, just sitting there for the last twenty-five years, right outside my front gate, desecrating what should be the most beautiful valley in Dartmoor.

"Those logs are stopping you from selling your house," endless so-called helpful friends keep informing me.  "You should pay the farmer £20,000 to get rid of them once and for all."

Well personally I don't actually notice them that much.  You can't see them from the house, you can't hear the sawmill at the end of the lane, and it's very rare that anyone comes to do anything with them in situ.  And none of my viewers has ever actually cited them as a reason for not buying my beautiful home, as far as I'm aware anyway.  They always explain that Wydemeet is 'too far away from anything'.  Why can't they just look at a map before they come to waste my time? Or read the property's description on RightMove? The first words of which are "Deeply Remote".

My next door farmer is the Duchy's longest serving tenant - his family goes back 500 years or something.  And he belongs to MENSA. He's got a great big black beard and is a bit scary, and I don't want to upset him too much. The word FUN doesn't really feature in his vocabulary, unless it's got something to do with wood, or belted galloways. And I entirely understand the need for Dartmoor Hill Farmers to diversify.  It's just that I'm beginning to feel rather NIMBYish, and am increasingly tempted to get out a box of  matches.

My Diversification

Meanwhile, during Lockdown, I felt I must come up with my own form of diversification, as I had to shut my B&B, so I had no money coming in, and nothing to do.

"What do I like best?" I pondered.

Well I've always been a bit of a wheeler dealer, and I love messing about with eBay, and I had a brainwave. I thought I'd buy up a whole load of Ford Fiestas before Lockdown started, when garagemen would be crying out for money and giving them away; and then sell them again about three months later, when Covid would all be over. Simple.

I love Ford Fiestas - the ultimate first car for learning to drive in, and then driving quite fast when you've passed your test. And then denting or probably writing off, because with a Fiesta it doesnt matter too much.  The Ford Fiesta is the ultimate throw-away car. I focussed on low mileage 2007 models which look quite smart and should work, and bought four from around the country, delivered for a £50 fee each, by impoverished university students. But Lockdown dragged on, and this wasn't one of my most successful enterprises.

My other idea was to buy badly presented things I liked off eBay, take better photos of them with improved descriptions, and sell them back again, for twice the price.  I started with designer sunglasses and scarves (although I knew absolutely nothing about either) because they're easy to post. Over the weeks I realised that it's much less effort and equal profit to advertise one expensive thing, rather than ten cheaper things.  So gradually I gravitated towards the Hermes scarf - even though I'd never seen one.

Well, guess what? A couple of years later, and now I'm a genuine expert, and have become the UK's leading specialist in the iconic 'Hermes 90'! And shall I tell you something else? I make more each year with my unobtrusive, modest little scarf business, than my neighbour does with all those tons and tons and tons of  eyesore bloody logs!