Why Do We Really Need Pets? The Muttnik Principle
what do our pets tell us about ourselves and the true nature of love?
We’re getting a puppy.
There, I’ve said it out loud so it’s now true.
Last week, we loaded up the truck and drove all the way across the country, from Cornwall to Suffolk, to spend a few hours adoringly staring at a magnificent litter of labrador pups. Little squirming toothy jacket potatoes, jet black and with all the coordination of a hopeless drunk, our hearts were instantly stolen.
My wife, in an unguarded moment some 10 months ago, had rather rashly committed to a puppy should our friend Jake’s labrador have a litter in the coming year. We thought of the promise little in the intervening months until one day, my phone pinged and an ultrasound scan sent from Jake sharpened the focus a little.
And now, here we are, sitting on the lawn in glorious August sunshine, surrounded by puppies with a watchful mother looking on, faced with the seemingly impossible task of deciding which one is to be our companion for perhaps the next fifteen years.
Did I mention we already have two spaniels? Well I suppose misery loves company and madness calls it forth!
Pets R Us!
Why on earth do we have dogs as companions? Why do we have any kind of pet at all? They’re expensive, often disruptive, terrible conversationalists and utterly reliant upon us from the day they arrive until the day, sadly all too soon, they leave us.
Whilst I harbour fanciful dreams of this one being the noble and majestic gundog, the constant companion in the field and the envy of all those gathered, I know the truth is she will soon be just another farting furball curled up on the couch with the other two, sleeping soundly to fill the hours between when next I provide food and when they can destroy more shoes and chairlegs, whilst I dutifully clear up their mess from the garden.
For the most part, our desire to have an animal companion has moved a very long way from the benefits of domesticating wolves many thousands of years ago - if truth be told, we no longer need protection from raging beasts and marauding bandits, we really don’t need canine assistance to put food on the table and vanishingly few of us have herds or flocks that need guarding or rounding up.

Dogs and cats are probably the most common pets with an estimated 13.5million dogs and 10 to 12 million cats in the UK but many people experience profound happiness from owning and caring for a dizzying array of creatures from birds to fish, lizards to insects and all shapes and sizes of mammals from mice to horses.
The pet industry (it’s no longer a ‘trade’, it’s a behemoth!) is estimated to be worth £9.5billion a year in the UK alone with forecasts estimating this will rise to £13.5billion by 2033.
This drive to have companion creatures is clearly very strong and in some cases, there are clear and very obvious benefits, think assistance dogs for people with disability or working dogs on farms whose roles are near impossible to replace with machinery, but in the main there is no practical purpose. So what are we getting from this relationship?
The Psychology of Romantic Love

I came across some snippets of the works of Nathaniel Branden (April 9, 1930 – December 3, 2014) a Canadian American psychotherapist and one time partner of Ayn Rand who together promoted and worked on her philosophy of Objectivism.
Following an acrimonious split, he went on to focus on his own theories on the psychology of self-esteem. He argued that self-esteem is a human psychological need and that to the extent this need remains unmet, pathology (defensiveness, anxiety, depression, difficulty in relationships, etc.) tends to result.
He defined this as "the disposition to experience oneself as competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and as worthy of happiness", proposing that, while others (parents, teachers, partners, friends etc) can nurture and support self-esteem in an individual, self-esteem also relies upon various internally generated practices.
His six pillars of self-esteem are a framework to achieve this;
- Living consciously
- Self-acceptance
- Self-responsibility
- Self-assertiveness
- Living purposefully
- Personal integrity
So what, you might ask, has any of this got to do with pet ownership!
Well, in 1980, Braden published The Psychology of Romantic Love - bear with me, just bear with me a little longer!
In the book he shares a tale of playing with his pet dog, a wirehaired fox terrier named Muttnik. He wrote;
“We were jabbing and boxing with each other in mock ferociousness. What I found delightful and fascinating was the extent to which Muttnik appeared to grasp the playfulness of my intention. She was snarling and snapping and striking back while being unfailingly gentle in a manner that projected total, fearless trust. The event was not unusual; it is one with which most dog owners are familiar. But a question suddenly occurred to me, of a kind I had never asked myself before: Why am I having such an enjoyable time? What is the nature and source of my pleasure?
The key to understanding my pleasurable reaction to playing with Muttnik was in the self-awareness that came from the nature of the feedback she was providing. From the moment I began to “box,” she responded in a playful manner; she conveyed no sign of feeling threatened; she projected an attitude of trust and pleasurable excitement. Were I to push or jab at an inanimate object, it would react in a purely mechanical way; it would be responding to me; there could be no possibility of its grasping the meaning of my actions, of apprehending my intentions, and of guiding its behavior accordingly.
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What is significant and must be stressed is that Muttnik was responding to me as a person in a way that I regarded as objectively appropriate, that is, in accordance with my view of myself and of what I was conveying to her. Had she responded with fear and an attitude of cowering, I would have experienced myself as being, in effect, misperceived by her and would not have felt pleasure”.
- - The Psychology of Romantic Love, Nathaniel Branden

And thus we have The Muttnik Principle. It describes a deep need in us all to be visible and that the joy of relationships comes not simply from being around somebody else but in recognition. Were you to start a play fight with a table or a fence, there would be zero response from these inanimate objects whereas when Branden wrestled with Muttnik with a certain attitude and intention, she would intuit those intentions and respond meaningfully. There was understanding between them.
Your pet will often know your intentions, the dog will uncannily know when it’s time for a walk, a cat will know if you’re upset. Branden called this connection Visibility, the sense that another consciousness is meeting you and responding to you appropriately, based on what you are giving. If your intentions are misinterpreted, it can leave you feeling ignored or perhaps even worse, invisible.
So, if you ever question the need for another dog in your life, just remember the Muttnik Principle, that our connection to our pets reveals the deeper nature of connection itself and know that love is more than just being with others; it is about being seen.